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Composition and life

Dancing, writing, living.

It's amazing the way they are similar.


You produce material, you select what fits into the piece you are creating — either struggling through trial and error or, when you're lucky, quickly and naturally falling into place — and then only after you have finished everything and come back to it later do you fully understand what you have done.

I don't know why, but this time I am drawn to writing a blog post that is a little less composed, and therefore, maybe, a little more real.

Hiking with my family in the Black Forest when they came to visit!

Perhaps, it's because the last few months have not been the easiest for me.

Perhaps, because I am in a big transitional period finishing my dance studies and suddenly being thrown back into the "real world", where I am facing the reality of what it means to be a dancer or artist.

Or perhaps, it's because as I have been brainstorming what to write for my next blog post over the recent weeks and thinking:


I couldn't get further than what's written here.




The first thing I found myself thinking about was my final performance in June and what I learned.

Photo from "Where the Flowers Fall".  Taken by Ellen Schmauss

Although I feel a bit like a "novice" in comparison to artists who have been creating for years, it was my first big compositional experiences in a condensed time, and indubitably, I learned so much.

But, the question that now remains is, "How to put what I learned into words?"

....this is always the challenging part, right?

Over and over again, I am intrigued and fascinated by the way my brain (and I suppose most people's brains) have such a deep understanding of something, but cannot express it.

You know you know what you know, but you are not yet capable of putting it into words. And therefore, you don't exactly know what you know you know!

"Everyone has his or her own way of learning things...his way isn't the same as mine, nor mine as his." - The Alchemist

But, let’s bring this back to my blog and its upcoming posts.

In the recent weeks, I have been talking with friends and family to try and scrounge for ideas in a brain that is completely blank because it's too full.... like a white light, none of the colors can get through

Yet, these are the topics I have come up with:

- Story-telling

- Dramaturgy/Composition

- Relationships

- Speaking about the unspeakable, the fear in it, and is there a right way to do it?


- The physicality of emotions

Why do I tell you this? Because, I like all these topics and and if I tell you, then it puts a little extra pressure on me (a good pressure) to actually do it.

Moreover, it makes it feel a bit more like an exchange of information than me sending out declarations into the vast space of the internet.

Photo from Improvisation in D Minor, Opus 5.  Taken by Ellen Schmauss.

Instead, I digest and process these ideas with you in the same way I have with people around me in the recent weeks.

So, in the coming weeks I will write about these topics and look forward to an exchange of thoughts from you, my readers.

In the mean time, please feel free to take a look at my Artist Page which I created some months ago but am only now getting around to sharing officially. It gives some glimpses into the work I have been doing the last two years during my dance studies, perhaps you can even see a development ;-)

Tschüss! Until next time...

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